Conscious Catholicism

I woke up today thinking about my father. I called him this past week to find out how everyone was doing as they live down in Mobile and was concerned with the storm and all. The call bothered me, he called me ken instead of son like he use to. Now he may say that “the past is the past” but it sure feels like he’s holding a beef against me. There is part of me that wants to just say fuck it and move on, he wasn’t there for most of my life. There is also the other part that says to act bigger than he has and whatever his problem is if I continue to treat him the way I want to be treated he’ll eventually come around even though his history with people says that isn’t true. I enjoy the Scott that I first met not this one. I’m sure if my granddad were around he have some things to say to him. My dad identifies with my granddad but I tell you he’s really much more like his mother than he’ll ever be able to see as far as relationships go. There is nothing more that I can do the ball is in his court, if he wants a friendship with me he needs to step up. If he doesn’t well then he and I both lose out. I was raised with this crazy notion if your upset with someone you tell them why and try to work it out especially if they are family.

On a different note I have today through monday off. I’ve been really looking forward to it. Today I am going to do some shopping and tonight I’m going to meet with a few friends. saturday, I don’t have any plans except to go the full moon/underbear party at the Cuff in the evening and Sunday is the bear barbecue in the afternoon. Monday I think will be a rest and relax day before going back to work on Tuesday.

On Wednesdays I have recently started going with the Seattle Movie bears to see a different movie each week. Its been lots of fun and a nice way to spend Wednesday evenings. This week we saw the Brothers Grimm. I was surprised by the move. I totally expected it to be complete cotton candy. It was a smartly written story and I really like the way that the actually fairy tales were interwoven into the story which itself was a fairy tale. Afterwords the movie bears meet up at cc’s for a small social however I don’t usually go to those, it is a work night after all.


Born in New York, Educated in the Berkshires, Became an adult in CA and found my Soul in Seattle. I'm a bearish middle aged, happy man who lives w my husbear in the OC.