Conscious Catholicism

I need to find work and am having a hell of a time finding anything. I’m registered with several agencies and have been now for many years counting. I’ve applied at all of the usual places, even retail and the like. No ones biting. Things are beginning to look desperate. It is incredibly difficult to for two people to live on one income. I really am at a loss as to what to do. I’m 38, I don’t have a retirement plan and neither does Mike. I’m feeling really lost as to what to do. Our phone got turned off on Tuesday and we won’t have the money to get it back on until sometime in mid-December if that. How am I supposed to find work if prospective employers can’t call me. I’m angry at myself and no one in particular. I’m smart friendly and I have talent when it comes to computers, why am I not working. I’ve thought about going back to school, but I have a defaulted student loan so financing isn’t not an option. Ah, the consequences of youthful stupidity! I’m determined not to ask my family for help. They’ve helped in the past and somehow it seems that I need to do this on my own, besides I’m 38, theres just too much embarrassment involved. Mike has been tremendous in all of this most other relationships that I’ve been in would have come apart at the seams, not Mike, he sees us as a partnership, through good and bad. It isn’t like I don’t do anything. I have a full-time job keeping house, errands, juggling paying the bills, and looking for work. I need to get the bills caught up, I’m going to take Bart (my truck) up to the local used car place to sell. I torn though because what if I need Bart for that next job, then again I need phone service to get that next job. I really am beginning to believe that conservatism is born through the trials of life.


Born in New York, Educated in the Berkshires, Became an adult in CA and found my Soul in Seattle. I'm a bearish middle aged, happy man who lives w my husbear in the OC.