Conscious Catholicism

Mike called to let me know that he and Mandy were going out for drinks after work. I wasn’t invited, I take that to mean that Jason will probably be there. I’m feeling a little hurt that I wasn’t invited. I feel badly for Mike because since Jason doesn’t want to hangout around me (guilt for having laid me off), Mandy won’t now either, which of course puts Mike in a tough spot. I think this brings up my only concern in our relationship, loyalty. I know Mike loves me, I have no doubts about that whatsoever. I do have some nagging questions about his loyalty, which this situation is obviously bringning to the surface for me. If he were forced to choose between his friendship with Mandy or his relationship with me which way would he go? This isn’t all insecurity and paranoia on my part. Last year Mike, myself and a group of friends went out on Capitol Hill, well towards the end of the evening one of Mikes closest friends and I got into an argument. Mike took his friends side, Before he even had heard what I had to say. That stung me really badly, and for whatever reason I ended up burying it. I probably shouldn’t have, I probably should bring it out in the open and to his attention. So now I’m left in this situation where I’m sitting here at home (with butterflys), he’s out having a good time with friends. I think the best thiing now is to bring this to his attention, not tonight, but tomorrow after I’ve had some time-distance. The only problem with bringing it to his attention is that I’ll tell him whats going on for me, and then he’ll just sit there. He doesn’t like confrentation of any sort, even if it is for the betterment of our relationship, who does? That drives me nuts. Respond please, tell me something, don’t just say ok. Well, I know I feel better, I think I’ll eat and watch some mindless TV.


Born in New York, Educated in the Berkshires, Became an adult in CA and found my Soul in Seattle. I'm a bearish middle aged, happy man who lives w my husbear in the OC.