Conscious Catholicism

Morning, I am up early but I really got a pretty good nights sleep. I haven’t been sleeping well now for the last 2 weeks, stress and anxiety have been the primary culprits. Money issues of course being the root cause. It really shouldn’t be as I noted in previous entrys, but alas I’m all to human and what I know to be true and how I react to it are sometimes to different things. The other being what I’m thinking is turning out to be an early onset of a midlife crisis. All around I have a very good life, really I do. The problem lays in that I’ve chosen to work as a contractor now for almost 10 years. Well, the IT well has dried considerably drier than I would have thought. IT work is just not satisfying anymore, at least in the arena that I’ve worked primarily (tech support, helpdesk, light Sys Admin). I’m collecting unemployment right now and that is going to run out in 5 more weeks. So the situation is that I’m forced to look for the same old same old, and not having much luck in the search that I really don’t want to be working in in the first place. I’m taking the time, rather than being stressed about the whole matter, to take stock of where I am now and what I really get the most satisfaction from, or possible could get the most satisfaction from. I’m seriously looking at returning to school, to learn Programming, which is something that I’ve always wanted to be doing. I’m also looking at returning to retail, bookstore work specifically as I have done a lot of it and although it doesn’t usually pay very well, I’m good at it and I really really enjoy it. I should also say that I’m very very lucky to have such a wonderful partner, Mike. He supports me mentally/emotionally and is willing to go the extra distance. Lord knows I’ve been in other relationships that weren’t nearly as supportive, hello William. Well, today looks like it’s going to be a nice one despite the weather forcast. I am going to do a little shopping at Nordys’ with what’s left on my Xmas giftcard and go to the Apple Store to lust after my new computer, which I’ll be getting as soon as my inheritance money makes its way into my hands. I have a hankering for gingerbread cake, so I think I will make one of those today also. Not sure what to do for dinner, perhaps some chicken scallopini with spinach or asperagus.


Born in New York, Educated in the Berkshires, Became an adult in CA and found my Soul in Seattle. I'm a bearish middle aged, happy man who lives w my husbear in the OC.